


I'm trying, that's all I can do.

by The__Blade



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Clay | Dream Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Comfort, Emotions, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, George struggles with internalized homophobia, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Internalized Homophobia, Little bit of slow burn, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Touch-Starved, Unrequited Love, dream doesnt know how to not be gay, dream has panic attacks, dream hasnt had human touch since he moved out and george is clingy, dreamnotfound, george is a little dumb but its fine, george is trying to get better before dream visits but he will not, george's family is homophobic, i guess, im so sorry, im sorry, it ends well i swear, like actual adhd written by someone whos been diagnosed with it, no beta we die like men, theres angst and fluff idk how long the fic will be but pogchamp i guess, theres like half a story of fluff i didnt end it as they got together, theyre both really touchy, theyre idiots your honor, theyre not getting together until george works that out though so, theyre really trying okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:35:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28500864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The__Blade/pseuds/The__Blade
Summary: A Dream; a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.Dream; The most beautiful person George has ever layed his eyes on. The person George had fallen in love with without even knowing until it was too late.The man that would be George's undoing.Or;Dream visits George and George struggles with the new-found feelings for his best friend.
Relationships: Clay | Dream / GeorgeNotFound
Comments: 3
Kudos: 78





	1. And so it begins..

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first work on Ao3 and this isnt beta read so, be nice? I would love feedback though!! I plan to update every day or other day, hopefully. Enjoy :] 
> 
> !! If Dream or George ever announce they're uncomfortable with being shipped or having fan fiction written this will be taken down immediately!!
> 
> !!READ BEFORE CONTINUING!!  
> -If you didnt read the tags, theres gonna be a lot of triggering topic touched on in this story. Ill put warnings in the beginning notes of each chapter, but PLEASE do not read this if those things will trigger you. With that being said, Enjoy the story.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter;  
> -internalized homophobia  
> -Mentions of vomit  
> -panic attacks  
> -intrusive thoughs

"George?" He rubs his eyes, blinking back at his screen. "..Yeah. I'm here. Sorry." He hears a faint chuckle from Dream, one that fills his stomach with those weird gut wrenching feelings. "Did you sleep at _all_ last night, dude?" He rubs at his eyes, shaking his head. "George! Go to bed, oh my god." 

It was his turn to laugh, the irony of _Dream_ telling him to sleep distracting him from his sleep-deprived state for a few moments. "Dream, I'm fine. I have to stream later." He hears a scoff in response, almost convinced that would be the _only_ response he got before Dream started talking. "Like hell you are, George. Go to bed, take a day off for fucks sake." 

"Dream, I'm fine." He stares into his phone camera, only able to imagine Dream staring back at him. With his bright green eyes and fluffy hair, staring at him as he scoffed. Maybe he would drag George to his room and force him to sleep..

George blinked, pulling at his hair to wake himself up more.That was the reason he hadnt slept, he wasnt about to think about it _more_.

"George..? Are you alright?" He managed a small nod, pushing down the bile forming in his throat. "Mhm.. might.. might take a nap.. before stream.." Dream sighed through the phone loud enough to make George look up. "George, just go to bed. Please?" 

Stubborn as ever, he shook his head. 

He didnt account for Dream also being just as stubborn as he is.

"C'mon baby, please? At least take a nap like you said you would." The words sent a chill down his spine, causing his face to heat up. 

No. No no no no no no no-

He coughed, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a few deep breaths.

"..Fine. I'll take a nap. I'll- I'll call you when I get up, okay?" He didn't give Dream time to respond before he hung up the call and threw his phone somewhere on his bed.

Baby. 

He could picture Dream in front of him, pinning his wrists above his head easily and murmering the pet name in his ear, giving George no chance to escape.

He could picture Dream pulling George to his chest, voice rough from sleep as he pressed a soft kiss to his neck, mumbling good morning. 

He could picture the pet name being whispered in a hush tone as Dream pressed George to the wall, covering his mouth and ordering him to be quiet.

He could picture it way to clearly. It made him sick. And not in a good way, either.

He coughed a bit more, covering his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut. The feeling in his stomach piped up again, causing him to whimper.

Maybe he _would_ cancel stream...

\------------

A few hours later and George lifted his head, body aching from his choice to just sleep at his desk. He checked the time, just past 11 pm. Was his sleep schedule absolutely fucked? Yeah. But it was worth it. Besides, he didnt need to be up during the day that much. He only ever left his house to get groceries and the occasional walk. 

He groaned, knowing he had to _actually_ get up now and grab his phone. Dream would be waiting for his call, he knew. But that didnt mean he wanted to go though with it. His finger hovered over the call button, hesitating.

Was he ready to face him after that? Could he even listen to his friend speak without feeling the urge to vomit? Would he slip up? What if Dream called him baby again?

Before he could think more and convince himself to not call, he pressed the button, letting it ring for a few seconds before Dream picked up. "Morning Gogy! Well, I guess it's more night for you, huh?" 

George blinked a few times, the sudden energy and screaming in his ear certainly waking him up. "Mm.. mornin'.. doesn' really matter wh' time it is.." 

\---------

Fuck. George's voice was thoroughly laced with sleep, and it sent tingles over Dreams skin. He coughs a bit, clearing his head. "You well rested to stream now?" 

He bit his tounge. George could tell. He knew Dream hesitated to end that sentence.

He couldnt help it, to be fair. The way pet names rolled off his tongue without him realizing until after its out in the open. Its a terrible habit, Dream had realized. It most affected him when he was in a relationship, his partner usually getting jealous and causing drama. Thankfully, however, he had been single for years now, so he didn't have to worry about that. 

"Mhm.. m' heads a bit fuzzy.. Slept at m' desk.."

Fuck, right, George. "You what? Gogy that can't be good for you.."Dream wouldn't lie, he was worried for his friend. George had been acting weird for a few days now- And being his best friend, Dream had picked up on it. How George would scrunch his nose up just slightly more than usual when Dream flirted, how he'd been coughing more often when anyone was even slightly flirty. How he would barely suppress whimpers when someone yelled at him. They all knew it was just a bit, so he couldnt figure out why George was so.. On edge.. 

"Too late now, dumbass." He could practically hear George's eyeroll through the screen. "Whatever, you should get ready for stream. Call me back after, alright baby?

Dream hadn't noticed the pet name until George's silence kicked in and his blood ran cold.

\---------

George had never ended a call quicker in his entire life. 

Nor had he ever gone to twitter as fast as he did, fingers typing before his brain could catch up.

_'Sorry guys, canceling stream for today. I promise I'll stream tomorrow but something came up. Love you all! :]' 11:27 pm._

He threw his phone across his room again- landing somewhere near his closet. He would never know how it hadn't broken from how much he threw it. 

He ignored the swarm of pings from said phone- Dream and Sapnap would no doubt be messaging him constantly wondering why he canceled stream. So late, too. The excuse that he was tired wouldnt work, nor would seeing his family, or even that he felt sick.

George had napped before that tweet. He had streamed sick before. It was almost mid night, his family wouldnt need anything even if they were in contact with him.

He had no excuse. 

Dream would know why he canceled. Dream would know. He would so fucking know. 

Dream probably felt guilty. Probably thought it was his fault or that he messed up or that George hates him or that he doesnt wanna be friends anymore-

He took a deep, shuddering breath. Calming his racing brain, he stripped himself of his clothes and headed to the bathroom. A shower would clear his mind enough to talk to them and clear everything up.

He had to get a grip.

\-----

Well, George was right in some ways. Dream did feel guilty. He didn't know why George canceled- he never cancled a stream unless it was practically a life or death situation. Did he overstep? George was usually fine with the pet names, yeah 'baby' was a new one, but it wasnt that bad, right..?

The man shook his head, giving himself a few moments to breathe. There was no need to get worked up right now. George would talk to him when he was ready, and Dream would find out what happened. It would be fine.

At least, thats what he tried to keep telling himself.

The voices in his head didnt exactly help.

'You fucked up.' 'He hates you.' 'He doesnt wanna be friends anymore.' 'Youre a dumbass.' 'Why would he ever wanna be friends with someone like you?' 'Youre disgusting.'

It was something he was used to, but the way it just kept getting worse wasnt. The way his breath quickened without him realizing and how tears welled up in his eyes. He struggled to breathe, clutching his shirt with one hand while the other rubbed at his neck. He couldn't get enough air in his lungs, couldn't see straight to grab his phone, couldnt call out for anyone.

He lived alone, so it wasn't like that would help anyways. 

He dug his palms into his eyes, breathing still ragged as he blindly felt around for his phone- calling the first contact he saw.

"Mn? Dream? What's up?" Sapnap's words were slightly slurred, signalling he had just woken up. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

He woke his best friend up and he didnt even know what was wrong. He couldn't speak. He couldn't ask for help. 

His shallow breathing must've been enough, however, as he faintly heard his friend shift in (what he assumed) bed, sitting up now and speaking softly.

"Hey, shh, relax. Just breathe, yeah? Listen to my voice, it's alright, you're safe, I'm right here. Can you do that? Listen to me?" 

Dream managed to choke out a broken 'yeah', which, somehow, sounded okay enough for Sapnap to understand. 

"Okay, I want you to breathe in for 4 seconds, alright?" He paused, letting Dream attempt to do so. "Now hold that breathe for 7, you're doing great." Sap exaggerated his own breathing for Dream to mimic, speaking again after the time was up. "Now let it out for 8, yeah?" As Dream kept trying to listen and calm down, Sapnap kept repeating the instructions and letting Dream mimic his breathing. 

A few minutes later and Dream was calm enough to speak. "I-I'm sorry Sap- I don't- I don't know what that was- I didnt mean to wake you-" He was cut off by Sapnap hushing him, a smile audible just from his voice. "You dont need to apologize, dude. I'm here for you. And that was a panic attack, I'm guessing you havent had one before, huh? You have any clue what caused it?"

Dreams blood ran cold again. "O-Oh.. I mean, I was freaking out over George but- but i don't think he-" He cut himself off this time, taking a few more deep breaths. He didn't wanna do that again. 

"George? Did something happen?" Dream only nodded before he remembered Sapnap couldn't see him- instead mumbling a quiet yeah. 

"He canceled stream. He wont answer my dms either. And.. I think it's my fault..?" He heard Sapnap laugh, confused on what was so funny. "How would it be your fault? I just saw the tweet, something came up that's all." 

"Sapnap, Nothing came up. I was on call with him right before he tweeted that." 

"..Oh."


	2. It's fine. We're fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAH CHAPTER TWO POG!! 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter:  
> -internalized Homophobia  
> -not eating  
> -vomit

George hadn't moved from his bathroom. He stood in the shower as the now cold water ran over his skin. He was sure it had been hours by now, trapped alone with his thoughts. He shivered, but made no move to get out. 

His phone was still laying somewhere on his floor, notifications probably blowing up even hours later. He couldn't bring himself to care. He had long since stopped crying, long since stopped worrying about what he would do when he checked his messages. Now, he was worrying about what Dream was thinking. After all, George ended their call without a single word. Didnt messsge him before he went offline. Knowing his friend, Dream was most likely freaking out and wondering what he did wrong. Blaming himself as always. 

It wasnt until George felt the tears well up again that he got out and went back to his room.

* * *

He groaned, rubbing his eyes as sunlight coated his face and glared into his eyes. He glanced at his clock- just barely past noon. Dream wouldnt be awake, knowing the others sleep schedule. It would be right after 7 am for him, after all. So George had another 4 hours at least to sort himself out. He forced himself out of bed, throwing on some basic sweats as he trudged his way to the kitchen.

A little too late he realized he wasnt hungry, picking at his plate before just scowling and throwing it out. The mere thought of food made him sick. He huffed, burrying his face in his hands.

He knew he wouldn't be able to avoid them forever, and that at the very least he should console his fans who were no-doubt worrying about him.. 

George let out a groan as he forced himself to go back to his bedroom and grab his phone. As he expected, hundreds of notifications from his friends wondering if he was okay.

_'Morning guys :] Sorry if I worried anyone yesterday, I'm okay! A few things came up irl so I had to cancel stream, but it wasn't anything bad, promise :]' 12:43 pm._

* * *

It was almost 8 am for Dream. George still had _hours_ until he would be awake. At least, that's what George assumed. He didnt expect the sudden pings from his discord and texts. 

_Dream; George? You're awake now right? You didnt tweet and then pass out I know you._

_Dream; Can you answer please? we need to talk, preferably on call?_

_Dream; of course if you dont want to its fine but we still really need to talk about yesterday_

_Dream; Im worried about you_

_Dream; look I know I pushed a boundary yesterday and I really want to apologize. just call me when you can._

George sighed, he knew that they'd have to talk either way, but he wasnt sure if he was ready to face reality.

But, nonetheless, he fixed his hair and steadied his breathing. He'd rather vomit from the pain in his stomach every time he heard Dream's voice than lose his best friend.

It didn't even ring for a full second before Dream picked up.

"George! You're awake!" His tone was awfully cheerful for the time..

"Why are you awake, Dream? Did you stay up all night or something?"

"Oh, uh, I couldn't sleep.. I was on call with Sapnap for a few hours.. then he fell asleep and I just.. stayed up."

Dream was up all night.. probably because of George..

"I'm sorry." He heard Dreams confusion through the phone and sighed. "For yesterday. I hung up and went offline without saying anything, I worried you guys. So I'm sorry."

"..I.. feel like I'm the one who needs to apologize, George. I saw how uncomfortable you were and I pushed it anyways. That's not your fault."

"I dont give a shit about the pet name, Clay. Call me whatever you want, it doesnt bother me. Yesterday was just.. bad. I reacted badly. Thats not fair to you." 

Dream sucked in a breath at his real name being used, slowly letting it out as he nodded and felt a smirk overtake his expression. "Does that mean I can keep calling you baby?" 

George let out a laugh, rubbing his eyes. "Whatever, Dream. Just be ready for the shippers to go wild." 

"Oh come on now, I wouldnt say it in stream! Maybe.." 

"Go to sleep, idiot."

"You have no place to say that, Gogy! May I remind you of yesterday?"

The two talked on call for a while, friendly bickering easily passing between them like usual. George had managed to push down the bile forming in his throat the entire time, only acknowledging it when he was sure Dream had fallen asleep and hung up their call.

He rushed to the bathroom, curling over the toilet and coughing a few times. 

He wiped his mouth, gagging slightly. 

He didnt wanna stream now. He didn't wanna do anything, really. He wanted to lay in bed and talk to his friends without worrying about everything else. 

Was he sick or something? The sick pit in his stomach never went away, it hadn't since he talked to his father last week. 

Oh.

* * *

Dream woke up with a soft groan, pushing his hair from his face. Being the idiot he is he forgot to put it up, so now it was all tangled. He pushed himself up after a few minutes of laying in bed and managed to stumble to his bathroom. He sighed, glancing at himself in the mirror. His long dirty-blonde hair layed messily across his shoulders causing him to wince. It would be a pain to brush out.

Would he cut it? No.

His long hair was overall easier to manage. Easier to get out of his face in the heat, and easier to look decent when he actually remembered to tie it up before sleep. After a while of just staring at himself- he decided a shower would make things way easier.

Dream probably stood under that water for way longer than necessary, the warmth luring him to stay. His phone played music quietly, only entrancing him more.

A loud ping snapped him out of it though, quickly turning the water off and drying off just enough to grab his phone, seeing multiple snapchat notifications from George.

_Gogy; r u still sleeping dumbass? its so late get ur ass up_

_Gogy; dream cmon_

_Gogy; dreaaammmmm_

_Dream; Im awake you idiot. i was getting a shower so my hair wouldnt kill me_

_Gogy; how would ur hair kill u_

_Dream; Does it matter?_

_Gogy; yes becuz now i wanna know_

He huffed, turning on his camera and snapping a picture. Only his hair and jawline were visible, but it would be enough explanation.

_-Dream sent a photo-_

_Gogy; oh._

_Gogy; wait your hair is really pretty wtf_

_Dream; Thank you, baby <3_

_Gogy; i take it back_

_Dream; No take backs. You said it was pretty and I will screenshot it and show everyone._

_Gogy; ur such a dick. go fucking get dressed so we can record and stream._

He laughs, turning his phone off and mentally preparing himself to brush his hair.

* * *

Around an hour later and George was sitting at his desk waiting for Dream to join the discord call. They were filming another manhunt before stream- This one merely for fun. 

But George could only focus on the photo Dream had sent. 

The long hair falling past his shoulders. The sharp jawline. The bare shoulders just slightly in frame. The hand pushing his hair from his face barely visible. None of of would leave his mind. He didnt snap out of it until Dreams voice snapped him back, blinking a bit as he focused on the game now. He had to focus. 

* * *

Just barely a half-hour in, Dream started being weird. At least to George. Sapnap didnt seem to find anything off. 

"Oh Gogy~" Dream chuckled, and George was glad he wasnt recording. The blush that covered his face would be clipped _everywhere_ if he was. 

"What do you want, Dream? Scared that me and Sap are catching up?" 

"No, just wondering when you're gonna come visit me~" George quite literally paused, not speaking nor moving for a few seconds. He coughed as he regain control over his mind and covered it with a small laugh. "Hah, what?" 

"When are you going to visit me, Gogy? Or maybe I should visit you, thats probably better. Florida is way too hot right now, you'd probably get burnt alive."

George merely rolled his eyes in response, scoffing. "Then come here, I'm not stopping you."

It was meant as a joke.


	3. Too late now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYO LOOK IM CONSISTENTLY POSTING UNLIKE MY WATTPAD FICS- i like ao3 so much better omg  
> But school starts today (i wrote half of this at 2-5 am and its now almost 6 am the day *after* ) so i might not be as consistent :/  
> But Im gonna try I promise!  
> Every day/other day, and if not that then ABSOLUTELY every Saturday! I'm strangely motivated to finish this fic though, so I really dont think I'll struggle with updates :]  
> I'm also sorry if this chapter isnt as good as the first two- I had to rewrite half of it since it didnt save and I was kinda tired :/
> 
> But with that out of the way, Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings for this chapter:  
> \- Panic attacks  
> \- internalized homophobia

Dream stared at his computer screen for what felt like hours, the confirmation of what he just did merely staring back at him.

5 days.

5 days of antagonizing wait.

5 days to prepare himself.

5 days to keep quiet.

5 days until he'd see George.

* * *

George blocked his eyes with his arms, shifting uncomfortably. It was unusually hot for Brighton, and even though it wasnt even _that_ hot out, the sweater George wad wearing didnt help. Dream had practically forced him to go out- claiming it wasn't healthly for him to only leave his house super late on the off times he actually did leave. George had, of coursed, protested, but Dream was borderline-threatening him. Not to mention the pet names..

He shivered despite the heat, wincing at the swirl in his stomach. He could recall their conversation easily.

_'Oh c'mon baby, you need fresh air once in a while- and going out once a month for food doesn't count!'_

George took a deep breath as he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. It didnt matter right now. He could think about it later. When he _wasn't_ in the middle of a crowd. 

He didnt stay for long. Maneuvering his way around person after person he finally managed to get back onto the sidewalk- dead set on getting back home as quick as possible and talking to his friends.

* * *

He wanted to tell him. He needed to, actually. After all- Dream would need someone to pick him up at the airport in a few days. 

He had already packed, already arranged for his sister to feed Patches while he was gone. Recorded a few videos to upload while he and George were together and didn't want to flim anything. It was only a month. But would that be a month too long? 

Dream still had multiple days until the trip and he was already debating on canceling. So many things could go wrong after all.

What if George didnt want him there? What if Dream didnt live up to Georges expectations? What if George was uncomfortable having Dream visit? 

His breathing had picked up before he even noticed, tears pricking his eyes and phone clutched in his hand.

Listen to Sapnap, remember what he said. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Repeat. Focus.. 

He shuddered, bringing his knees to his chest and closing his eyes.

He hadnt gone a day without a panic attack since that first one. He had gotten better at managing them, but every day closer to his trip made him increasingly more worried about it all.

He could slip up and say something wrong, make George uncomfortable. He could worry him with the panic attacks. He could ruin it all with a sentence.

Dream had long since accepted his feelings for the older man, along with accepting that they'd never be returned. He was fine with it. As long as George was in his life, it didn't matter. He could live with George never seeing him as anything other than a friend as long as they _were_ friends.

Which is why this trip was automatically 10x scarier.

George hadn't seen his face yet. Dream teased him constantly, living with the ability to see his reactions, but George didnt have that. George never saw the way his face heated up when he chased the man in speedruns, calling his name tauntingly. The way his hair fell in his face when he tried to hide despite no one being able to see it anyways. He never saw the way his hands froze when filming whenever George would ask him a harmless question. How his heart skipped a beat whenever George did _anything._

He knew George was straight. He knew it wouldnt happen. He knew it was a lost cause. He knew all he was doing was hurting himself. But it was fine. They were bestfriends, and Dream was okay with that. He still had George and that's all he needed. He didnt need to be with him like that. As long as George was in his life. 

The sudden pings from snapchat once again snapped him out of his trance, rushing to open the app.

_Gogy: dream_

_Gogy: drreeeammmm_

_Gogy: dream im home_

_Gogy: dddrrrreeeeaaammmmmmmmm_

_Gogy: dream :( you dont love me :(_

_Gogy: answer me :(((_

_Gogy: fine I guess ill just stream with sapnap alone from now on_

_Dream: You are so impatient, holy fuck._

_Dream: How was your walk?_

_Gogy: :] it was eh, too many people out right now. And holy shit its so hot out?? its literally never hot in brighton and i was burning_

_Dream: Thats because youre so pale since you never leave your house_

_Gogy: im gonna block you_

_Dream: you wouldnt_

_Gogy: do you want me to tweet about you being a simp_

_Dream: ill go back and screenshot you calling my hair pretty_

_Gogy: you can't dumbass_

_Dream: watch me_

_Gogy: if u manage to screenshot that ill fucking fly to Florida_

Dreams breathing tightened for a second, hesitant to reply. That was a good sign, right?

_Gogy: ur taking too long_

-New twitter notification; George just tweeted!- 

_'Among us proximity chat stream starting soon! Playing with Dream, Sapnap, Karl, Quackity, Corpse, Poki, Toast, Sykkuno, and Scott! :] ' 6:19 pm_

_Dream: you're such an asshole_

_Gogy: you love me :]_

_Dream: fucking lucky that I do_

_Gogy: Ooohhh im gonna tweet that_

_Dream: George I will literally block you_

_Gogy: Hush and start ur damn pc already_

Dream groaned, dropping his head in his hands for a few seconds before tearing himself away from his bed to boot up his pc like George said. 

Barely two seconds after he joined the discord call he covered his ears. 

"Dream! You're here! Finally!" 

"George, it was two minutes, I wasnt gone that long."

"Two minutes too long, I missed you."

Dream could hear the frown without even needing to look at George's facecam, chuckling to himself. 

George hadnt started his stream just yet, and he had given Dream the perfect opening..

"You won't have to miss me in two days." 

The green light on George's setup flared, singling his stream had started, giving him no chance to reply without chat being able to hear him. 

The confusion on his face spoke for itself, but he shook it off enough to greet chat just as people started flooding in.

Dream could only hope he didnt fuck it up, focusing on starting the game and acting as normal as possible. It wasnt easy with how George was clearly distracted, though as present as ever whenever Dream spoke. He didnt leave Dreams side the entire game- Dream was sure people would be picking up on that- It was as if he was protecting Dream- Never killing him as imposter, never reporting his kills as crewmate- claiming he 'didnt see it' multiple times throughout the stream.

At one point he even cornered Dream alone, staring at his among us character as if that would answer his questions. 

"Dreammmm!"

"Gogyyyy!" Dream laughed, glancing at his phone where George was on face time with him. Muted, of course, but it was what they compromised on. With Among us, they couldnt watch each others streams in case the other was imposter- But Dream still wanted to see George during stream, so, compromising, they agreed on setting up a face time. 

Georges face was flushed slightly, smiling brightly as he huffed. "I trust you, you better not kill me." 

"I would _never"_ Dream gasps, acting as if the mere thought was offensive.

George began to speak again after biting his lip, clearly debating on if asking during a stream was a good idea, when a body was reported and he sighed. 

He wanted to know what Dream meant, sooner rather than later. If that meant chat finding out too, fuck it, right?

George once again dragged Dream to a private area on the map, pouting. "Dreammmm!"

"Gogyyy! Are you gonna keep dragging me away from the others every round or is there a reason for it this time?" Dream wheezed at the look on George's face- pouting, a faint blush still very evident. 

"Dream you _know_ why I dragged you away! You need to explain!" 

"Do you really want to confuse chat, Gogy?" Once again, laughing, Dream watched as George huffed. 

"Snapchat then, if you wont say it out loud." 

Both of them rolled their eyes as Dream picked up his phone. "Fine then, don't say I didn't warn you~"

He knew chat was gonna be confused, but George apparently didn't care, so fuck it. 

_-Dream sent a photo-_

Dream watched as George narrowed his eyes, opening the picture and just.. staring.

"Dream! Oh my fucking god-"

He bursted out laughing, watching George process what he saw.

A picture of Dreams face, features barely covered by the printed out plane ticket he held in front of it. Hair falling neatly past his shoulders and framing his face- the only thing visible being his grin.

"You told me to!" "It was a _joke!_ Theres no way thats real, you're tricking me."

They bickered for a while as chat kept spamming questions, neither of the two acknowledging them. 

Before they could fully process it, the game had ended and everyone started closing their streams, George included. 

"Dream, did you actually fucking buy a plane ticket to come here?"

"Indeed I did. My sister is gonna feed Patches while I'm gone, and there's plenty of hotels near your house that I can stay at-"

"Dream! You're not staying at a _hotel_ if you're visiting me, just stay at my place oh my god."

He froze, staring at George's face for any sign of doubt. "..You're okay with me coming..?" 

"Of course I am you idiot! How long are you gonna stay?"

"A-Around a month..?" 

The smile that appeared on George's face had single-handedly beat every anxiety Dream had about this trip leaving room for nothing but pure excitement.

"Two days. And then I'll have you with me. Two fucking days."

"Two days, George."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really dont like the ending of this but i mean oh well this was mainly just to progress the plot so I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS BUCKLE UP


	4. 10 hours. 10, unbearable hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im writing this literally the second after posting the last chapter because i wanna update again before class starts today 😀  
> if I update multiple times today, mind ur business 😃😍😍
> 
> update: i did not update before class started im writing as im in class because who cares about an education am i right  
> update #2: i fell asleep after class watching dsmp and so now its 6 pm. again. idc i have a laptop now so i will be writing faster 😎pogchamp in the chat bois  
> Update #3: it is now almost midnight??? i fell asleep i guess but anyways im gonna write so much plot rn   
> update #4: its like 2 am now i forgot sad-ist was posting an animation and paused writing to watch it but anyways  
> update #5: uh i was gonna continue this chapter and have them actually meet but then i decided that would be better as its own chapter and i reached my word goal so like uh yeah have this basically filler chapter while i catch up on dsmp plot then write the next one 😃👍
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  
> \- Internalized homophobia  
> \- throwing up  
> \- anxiety

Dream stared at the airport, nervously messing with his rings. He had made sure everything on his list was checked off- Patches was taken care of, he was completely packed, George knew when to pick him up, his fans knew that he would be offline for a few days- Everything was in place, nothing could go wrong. Just a 10 hour flight to sit through now. With nothing to calm his nerves. No ability to call Sapnap or text George or even tweet dumb shit to distract himself.

He took a deep breath, having already decided his plan before he even left his house- He grabbed his phone, pushing his hair out of the way as he opened Snapchat. 

His hair was tied up neatly- a few pieces framing his face, which was heavily flushed. He'd blame the heat if anyone asked.

He had worn a blue sweatshirt, knowing it would be needed once he got to Brighton, though still cursing how hot it was in Florida.

His bright green eyes glanced around for anyone looking before he smiled softly and snapped the picture.

_-Dream has sent a photo-_

_Dream: Just so you know who you're picking up._

He locked his phone before he could see George's reply, taking one last breath before he boarded the plane- No contact with anyone for the next 10 hours.

He could do this. 

It was all for George, It would be worth it.

Just 10 hours. 

* * *

George paced in front of his pc, pulling at his hair so hard he was sure it would fall out by now.   
He hadnt opened Dream's snap, nor had he even opened his _phone_ yet today.   
  
Dream had left for his flight barely an hour ago- And the panic was setting in.

What if he didnt like his house? What if he didnt wanna stay for a month like he planned? What if George didn't live up to his expectation in real life?   
What if George would be forced to acknowledge his feelings...?  
  
It was affecting him more than he knew it should. After all, they had been friends for _years,_ meeting him in person wouldn't change years of friendship. 

But what if it did? 

He knew it wouldn't, But what if it did?  
He doesnt think he'd be able to go on normally if he and Dream stopped being friends.

George hadn't thought about it before, but his life had grown reliant on Dream being there. _He_ had grown reliant on Dream being there.

Their sleep schedules were synced up, they face-timed during streams, they'd woken up still on call multiple times- and on the off-times their call disconnected whoever woke up later always woke up to a good morning message.   
  
George had hardly streamed without Dream for weeks now, really- when was the last time he had a normal, just him stream?   
  
He groaned, falling into his bed and laying there for a while. He didnt want to open that snap. Because he knew he wouldnt get another one for almost 9 hours, and the thought of it made him sick. 

It wasn't like before though.

That gut-wrenching pit in his stomach hadnt exactly gone away, but it had gotten better. Ever since he was aware of the trip it was like a game. Russian roulette. Would he feel giddy and light-headed all day from joy, or would he barely be able to stand without feeling the unavoidable urge to vomit. It wasn't a _fun_ game. Not in the slightest. But he didnt know how else to deal with it. He wasnt sick, he had made sure of that. 

If George was to be honest, He knew what it was. 

He knew exactly what it was and why it hurt so bad.

And that's what made it so.. so much worse.

* * *

  
Dream shifted awkwardly in his seat, headphones playing his music quietly enough for no one else to hear but enough to drown out any unwanted noise. 

He hated planes. 

He didn't know why he thought a 10 hour flight would be a good idea. Nor why sending George a selfie would be, either. 

  
He was on a record, how-many-fucked-up-things-can-Dream-do-before-its-an-actual-problem. 

So far, it was a lot.

He still had 8 hours left of the horrid flight, and he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and wake up in Brighton, but even despite not having slept beforehand he couldnt even close his eyes for more than a few seconds. It was slow torture, and he wasnt sure he'd even live long enough to see George at this point. 

He tapped his fingers on his leg subconsciously, only lasting a few minutes before that turned into bouncing his leg all together. He was sure his nails would be non-existent by the end of the flight as well with how badly he was biting them.

His hair wasnt even up anymore, he had gotten sick of the hair tie giving him a headache and taken it out in frustration, causing it to now lay messily across his shoulders. It gave him something to fidget with though, so it wasn't exactly a bad thing. Dream had already braided and unbraided small sections of his hair countless times just to have _something_ to focus on. Distract his mind from the inevitable.   
  
Distract him from the fact that in 9 hours he would have George in his arms. That in 9 hours his life could become a million times better or completely shatter. That in 9 hours he would see George, in person, for over a month. He wouldnt have to wake up to a disconnected call and a half-assed excuse that the others phone died. He wouldn't wake up to a black screen on his phone, or a 'Good morning Clay :]' Message sent at nearly 4 am. 

Instead, he'd wake up to George. Wake up to a foreign house in a foreign country but with his best friend. Wake up on the couch with George in his arms after falling asleep when they tried to watch a movie. He'd wake up warm. He'd wake up no longer alone.   
  
He wasnt even in Brighton yet, and he already never wanted to leave.

Dream shuddered, subconsciously rubbing his arm. Just over 8 hours. He just had to make it through 8 more hours.

* * *

Okay, sure, maybe he didn't need to clean his house for the 7th time that hour alone, but it was at least something productive. It was better than spending hours on Twitter mindlessly scrolling, or joining a call on discord only to zone out and not listen to anything that was said. George had already tried sleeping- He didnt last two minutes before getting restless- He had tried playing minecraft, scrolling on tiktok, going on instagram, twitter, _anything_ to fill time. 

He still had over 5 hours until Dream's flight would be landing, and he was more impatient than ever. He hadnt opened the snap yet- It was taunting him. 

It was the last contact of Dream he'd actually have until he saw him in person.

He didnt wanna get rid of it. Didnt wanna lose it. Didnt wanna take the anxiety off his shoulders only to double it. So, it came as a surprise to him when he found himself finally opening the app and going to their messages.

_-Dream. Tap to view.-_

_'Just so you know who you're picking up.'_

He took a deep breath, fingers shaking as he clicked on the message.

He nearly dropped his phone when what he was looking at fully processed in his brain.

Five hours. Five hours until he'd see _him_ in person. Until he'd see the most beautiful person he'd ever known in person. Have him in his arms.   
  
He didnt think he'd be able to wait those five hours with that picture engraved into his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo!! And from here on out it only gets better ✨ (read: worse.)   
> Anyways, feel free to leave a Kudos or a comment! Its free, and it lets me know that you enjoyed the story :]

**Author's Note:**

> WHOO CHAPTER ONE DONE!! Hopefully you stick around for the end, I have a lot planned for this fic. Please leave kudos or a comment, they mean a lot!! :]   
> I plan on updating every day or other day, and Im aiming for 1k-5k words each chapter at least, so.. Buckle up ;)


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